What Will Stick?

What will stick?  In early high school I remember listening to a highly respected mentor.  During a quiet moment he expressed disillusionment and dissatisfaction with his ability to find meaning and fulfillment in life.  While admiring his quality and achievements, I did not know what to make of his heartfelt confession.  But it stuck with me.  That moment of transparency ignited an inner desire to uncover the source of lasting meaning, purpose, and happiness which seems to be the nexus of man’s dialectic in philosophy and theology.  

My pastor in high school had often talked about downward mobility as the path to true significance and happiness as opposed to the natural mimetic current of the wealthy, the powerful, and the successful.  It reminds me a little of the ageless argument between Plato, Aristotle, and Galileo theorizing movement and change which occurs in the world.  Is there a Form or mind outside the universe orchestrating a grand dynamic piece of art? Is there an essence within each thing that seeks its equilibrium? Or are things moved around solely by impersonal outside forces?  For my search into immaterial matters, Aristotle’s perception of change was most helpful.  If I was to find what I was looking for, it would have to be through active inquiry while at the same time qualitatively measuring the degree of consolation and desolation embedded within each hypothesis and activity I imagined and engaged in.  In agreeing with the Christian tradition, I also affirmed that this guiding essence was only trustworthy after I had hoped and trusted that there was a loving God available who would guide me into this desired grace and peace.  

CS Lewis described the effect on men moving closer to the front lines in WWI.  He noticed that their conversations moved away from finite affairs like the Allied cause towards the infinite like God and the world to come.  After college, I had decided that meaning and purpose might be found in working with young people.  My first experiment was in social work and group homes.  The children who were from difficult backgrounds were in between worlds and the system trying to help them was both rigid and behaviorally-driven offering rewards and punishments in place of relationships.  Though many found it exceedingly meaningful, it wasn’t quite the right fit for me.  I eventually moved on to search for meaning in athletics and the public school.  Athletics was extremely rewarding in building teams, skills, resiliency, and perseverance but there was always a nagging feeling that something was missing.   In the public school, once again the system restricted the human ability to connect and communicate below the surface with its efficient nature, low common denominator of character and standards, and inability to acknowledge universal truths outside the special interests of the marketplace and the state.  After a few other adventures, my wife and I felt called to homeschool our children.  Starting in 2011 with our five and three year old, we set off on a journey which has been 14 years and counting.  

This past year I was blessed with the opportunity to be a Senior Thesis judge with students who I had spent 9th grade with in Challenge I.  We, the three judges, began with questions of celebration and curiosity and finished with questions of challenge.  It was a wonderful sight to behold.  For twenty minutes each student defended their findings which they had researched for close to nine months in front of a crowd of fifty or so family and community members.  The picture of nine mature, articulate, well-read, confident, and loving Christian classical students was deeply impactful.  To know that I had played a part in a community and in the lives of eternal beings was truly humbling.  Remembering many of the conversations we had where we slipped from the finite to the infinite and back again made time stand still.  Though there are many fine ways to spend your one and only life, I am confident that I will not regret spending it with my wife and children in homeschooling and with students in a Christian classical community.